Grace and Caffeine

I’m giving a presentation in American Sign Language today about the life of my hero, who of course is Jesus.

And I have this joke that I thought was funny: “His father worked as a carpenter, while his mother was busy not sinning.” :-)

peterminator:

FACT OF THE DAY:All the seasons are named after coils of metal.

Except Winter and Summer.

And Autumn.

He lays awake at night deciding if “dog” exists.

From a friend of mine back in high school:

In retrospect, I was a pretty crappy suicide bomber.

The lady walking ahead of me sped up so I did too, she began running so I ran too, she screamed so I screamed as well. I never even saw what we were running from.

I believe that most conflicts in the Wild West could have been easily avoided if the cowboy architects had just built their towns big enough for everybody.

Did you hear about the Dyslexic boy who cried “fowl”? Nobody listened and the wolf ate him.

Today I was waiting at a red light and this guy pulled up to me and started to rev his engine. He shouted, “Race?” I shouted back “Korean!” Then I drove all the way home giggling.

My friend called me and asked me, “Hey! What are you up to right now?” I replied, “Probably failing my driving test.”

Next time I’m in an elevator with a bunch of strangers, I’m going to turn around and say, “I’m sure you’re wondering why I’ve gathered you all here.”

I love watching videos of rivers and lakes on the internet. In fact, I’m watching a live stream right now.

My friend told me that I suffer from a lack of imagination. I shot back, “Oh yeah? Well you suffer from a lack of imagination.” That showed her.

Just finished reading the fifth book in the “learning to count” trilogy.

I’m just a farmer’s laborer, but when girls ask what I do, I find ‘farm assist’ sounds better.

If someone ever tells you that they’ve lost their voice, they’re lying.

I own a shop selling ‘Closed’ signs. We have yet to have our first customer.

There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator.

I just titled my paper “whats up” so that the file name would be whatsup.doc.